Triple J Radio Interview Transcript
Aired September 1, 2004
CHRIS: It's twenty past three, and being a Wednesday, we're doing Trash for Comment all day here on behalf of Sheridan and his old Datsun 120Y. He said it was a bit of a rust bucket, a bit of a bomb. He's given it our way, and in return - this is a monumental, Herculean task we've got today - he wants us to get the Brisbane suburb of Tingalpa the Olympic Games in two-thousand-and-twelve.
CRAIG: Twenty twelve they're calling it.
CRAIG: Tingalpa 2012. Fantastic bid. I've had a look, they've got a website.
CHRIS: Oh yeah?
CRAIG: You go to Google, you put in Tingalpa: T, I, N, G, A, L, P, A 2012--
CHRIS: That's a start!
CRAIG: --you'll find it. It's a fantastic website. Now Chris, we're going to speak later to the president of TINCOG, they're calling it, and his name's Tom Carroll.
CHRIS: TINCOG, yes.
CRAIG: Now, already on the website is a bit saying that he's going to be speaking to us today on radio.
CRAID Now do you think the Greeks would have been that quick at getting it up? They wouldn't have even had a website this quick! These guys are professional.
CHRIS: I reckon they can do it. It's not that hard to get the Olympic Games if you're connected. Like, let's just kick off with the fundamentals of what you need. Have they got a pool without a roof in Tingalpa?
CHRIS: Perfect! Perfect, that's good. Do they have minimal security during their marathon?
CHRIS: Perfect! Tingalpa, Irishmen--
CRAIG: Drunk Irishmen. Yep.
CHRIS: Yep. Do they have - like, just looking ahead to 2008 - do they have a really poor record on human rights?
CRAIG: Ooooh, that's a tough one.
CHRIS: Well we'll put that to Tom when we get him on the line.
CRAIG: .. that's what they're going to have to get, yeah, coming after China.
CHRIS: You've got to bribe the right people, don't you. It's all about bribery, winning the Olympic Games. You need to have Uganda and Kenya on board, and little brown envelopes heading their way.
CRAIG: Well I think I might have something to help out with that a bit later.
CHRIS: That's all ahead of us here on Trash for Comment. We're going to get the Games for Tingalpa, 2012!
CHRIS: And as part of our Trash for Comment obligations, and our sponsor who today is Sheridan, and his old Datsun 120Y, we're trying to get the Brisbane suburb of Tingalpa the 2012 Olympic Games. We've got the president of TINCOG - the man behind the bid - on the line now. Tom Carroll, how are you?
TOM CARROLL: Good thank you, how are you gentlemen?
CRAIG: Very very well. We're very good. Now, ah, you've bid in the past, is that true?
TOM CARROLL: That is true. We had a bid in for the 2008 Games.
CRAIG: How did that go?
TOM CARROLL: It was unfortunately unsuccessful.
CHRIS: Who beat you last time?
TOM CARROLL: Oh, I dunno. Some place in China. I think it was Beijing.
CRAIG: Small town called Beijing. Yeah, now Beijing, population-wise, a lot ahead of Tingalpa. What is it about Tingalpa that particularly you think's good?
TOM CARROLL: Oh, where to begin? Where to begin. Tingalpa has it all, really. Ah, it's one of the all-time great suburbs of Brisbane. Possibly even the world.
TOM CARROLL: And I think it's long time that it was acknowledged with an international sporting event like the Olympic Games. I think that's all there is to say about that.
CHRIS: It's good. And what are your facilities like there at the moment? How much work would we need to do to get the Tingalpa bid and tilt up?
TOM CARROLL: Look, yeah, most of the infrastructure is already in place. It's just a few minor upgrades here and there.
CRAIG: Like, what's there? Have you got, for instance a rowing venue?
TOM CARROLL: Oh yes, Bulimba Creek is nearby.
CRAIG: The creek! Fantastic. We just have to get rid of the weeds in the creek?
TOM CARROLL: Oh, ultimately, yes.
CRAIG: Yeah, okay. So at this point you're well-ahead of where Athens was, say at this time.
TOM CARROLL: In terms of preparations, in terms of preparations, well ahead.
CHRIS: More importantly, have you been greasing the palms of IOC delegates? How close are you to say the Ugandans and the Kenyans in that regard?
TOM CARROLL: Oh, look. It's difficult to say. It's always a neck-and-neck sort of thing, but I think we're in with a real shot this time.
CRAIG: It's always about bribery. I'd like to say also, we're possibly going to talk to Premier Beattie later. We've been speaking to his office today, he seems very keen about this--
CHRIS: Blood Nut Beattie!
CRAIG: Blood Nut Beattie! But apparently - and this is one of the concerns I have about this bid - he's currently putting Parliament before speaking to us about the TINCOG bid. Now, that doesn't show for me a Premier who's fully behind the concept.
CHRIS: Unless he's using the session of parliament to in fact enact legislation to bring Tingalpa more funding for their Olympic bid.
CRAIG: Oh, I hope so.
TOM CARROLL: Well, I think an increase in funding is obviously important. One of the reasons, I think, the 2008 bid failed was the insufficient budget we had.
CRAIG: What was the budget of the 2008 bid?
TOM CARROLL: Three hundred and eighty-seven dollars.
CHRIS: Still more than Manchester's then.
TOM CARROLL: Marginally.
CRAIG: Yeah. Have you ever thought of getting together with - for instance - suburbs around there - like Gumdale, for instance?
TOM CARROLL: Well look, yeah, I don't want people to think it's just the Tingalpa Olympic Games. It's the surrounding suburbs as well. It's an Olympic Games for the entire south side of Brisbane, really.
CHRIS: It's good, isn't it!
CRAIG: A couple of important questions. Will it celebrate humanity?
TOM CARROLL: "Humility" is our slogan.
CHRIS: Celebrate humility, isn't that nice! That's even better, isn't it. And with your opening ceremony, of course, it's very important to have a pageant and maybe depict the history of Tingalpa in some dance, maybe involving school children. Have you got any ideas on that front?
TOM CARROLL: Well obviously most of our plans for the opening ceremony are confidential at present.
TOM CARROLL: We may be spending up to $150 on fireworks.
CHRIS: Is there an incinerator or a barbeque in one of the local parks you could use as your cauldron?
TOM CARROLL: I expect so. Something like that will turn up. We've also had a suggestion that perhaps inflatable koalas on bicycles...
CHRIS: Oh yeah.
CRAIG: That sounds fantastic!
CHRIS: I'd love to see them back!
CRAIG: Tom, thanks so much. We're on board, we'll see what we can do.
CHRIS: Between now and 5:30 we will get you the Olympic Games. Tom Carroll, president of TINCOG, here on Triple J.
CHRIS: We're doing Trash for Comment. Sheridan sponsored the show, and in return he wanted us to get the Brisbane suburb of Tingalpa the Olympic Games in 2012.
CRAIG: Yes, and there's already a bid out there. We spoke, of course, to the president Tom Carroll earlier today. Tingalpa have got a website, they've got everything going on there. It's a great suburb for an Olympics, I mean--
CHRIS: Good infrastructure!
CRAIG: Mmm! They are as prepared as Greece was a week before the Games. And that's saying a lot.
CHRIS: They're four years ahead of the Games. In fact, I'd sooner go Tingalpa than Beijing. I think they're being a little bit unconfident and modest not going for the 2008 Games.
CRAIG: Yeah, cos Beijing's not...
CHRIS: No. They're not going to have it done 20 years before they start!
CRAIG: I saw on the news the other night, they crossed to Beijing, I think it was The Great Outdoors rather than the news, and they did... already Channel 7 is doing 'Beijing! Keep watching, please! For the next four years! We're in Beijing!' and--
CHRIS: See? The Olympics has harmed you. You're watching Channel 7. You're now watching The Great Outdoors. You can get off it now the Olympics have stopped!
CRAIG: But I swear, the pictures of Beijing, the town is ready. The grooming in their .. their nurseries, and what would you call it, their botany? Around--
CHRIS: I heard a story, right. That, you know how Greece about a couple of days before the Games was actually going ahead, were planting all these saplings to try to get trees there, right? Currently in Beijing, they have like about twenty scientists working on new plants because the current plants won't flower at the right time for the 2008 Games.
CRAIG: So genetically engineering new species of flower to sprout right at the right time.
CHRIS: Yeah. Do you think they're taking it a little bit seriously over there in Beijing?
CRAIG: I reckon they're just gonna nail the Games. I just have this feeling Beijing will do the best Games ever. None of this "dream, unforgettable Games". It will be another best Games ever. Anyway, look, that's not to put aside or to sneeze at--
CHRIS: Tingalpa for 2012.
CRAIG: Tingalpa 2012. We're right behind the cause, so we thought we'd AOC a bit of a call now.
CHRIS: You got the number there?
CRAIG: Yep, so we're gonna call the AOC, and hopefully get them... uhm.. I don't know what you do. Who do we get on board for this? Is John Coates there? Is Kevan Gosper still around? All the old people from the AOC...
OPERATOR: Good afternoon, Australian Olympic Committee. Can I help you?
CRAIG: Hello, this is Chris and Craig, you're live on Triple J. We're just wanting to put in a very firm bid here for Tingalpa for 2012. Have you heard of this bid, for the next.. the Olympics, after that?
OPERATOR: Do you mind holding please?
CRAIG: Yeah, sure.
CHRIS: Yeah, no probs.
ON HOLD RECORDING: Athens2004.com...
CHRIS: Oh that's old!
CRAIG: That's old news!
CRAIG: Old, they want to update their hold music.
CHRIS: They need to have Tingalpa. Not as good as the Prime Minister's hold music, but ah... look. I think they've got to really look to the future. I mean, how long ... that would have been 12 years since Australia--
ON HOLD RECORDING: The 2004 Athens Olym--
CRAIG: Oh, COATS!
CHRIS: --since Australia had the Games. I mean, that's ridiculous. If you want to think about it, it's Queensland. Thorpie doesn't have to go very far to get up there, it's a fantastic place for it. Now look, it's got so many things going for it, and if only John Coates could stop shaking hands with athletes and swanning about for picture opportunities at Sydney airport today and pick up the phone, because you know, Tingalpa, they're crying out. It's going to put Tingalpa more on the map than it already is.
CRAIG: The good thing about Tingalpa is that Channel 7 can start their coverage from there right now, right? So they've got this stupid thing on Sunrise with the Martin Place background, right? Where people are standing in the background, and it doesn't work. In Tingalpa, you put it in the main street of Tingalpa, you've got no-one walking in the background annoyingly.
CHRIS: That's right.
CRAIG: It's just empty!
CHRIS: That is right!
CRAIG: This is ridiculous. This is no respect for Tingalpa. Absolutely no respect.
CHRIS: Let's just hear a bit more of their hold.
CHRIS: That's, I think, their attempt at Greek music, is it?
CRAIG: It's got a Greek music theme to it. It's not exactly Zorba the Greek, but it's certainly got a motif.
CHRIS: Do they not understand that the most Greek music you can have is Bjork?
HOLD: Thank you for calling the Australian Olympic Committee...
CRAIG: No-one's there! They're all at...
HOLD: We appreciate your call, and will be with you shortly.
CHRIS: They don't appreciate our call!
HOLD: ... the media, you can find all AOC press releases online, and www.aoc.com.au
CHRIS: Oh, they're directing us online, are they?
CRAIG: It's good to have an automated voice directing us online. Alright, well it doesn't look like we're going to get through to the Australian Olympic Committee. But they've heard our cry...
CHRIS: Oh, here we go!
CHRIS: Good afternoon.
CRAIG: This is Chris and Craig, you're live on Triple J. We're just wanting to put in our firm support for Tingalpa 2012. This is the bid by the Brisbane suburb Tingalpa for the Games of 2012.
CHRIS: Just wanting to know if we have the Australian Olympic Committee's support for the bid?
WOMAN: Oh, look, I haven't actually heard of Tingalpa. How do I spell it?
CHRIS: G-A-L-P-A. You can search for that, they've already got a website going. It's a fantastic place, Tingalpa.
CRAIG: It's a suburb on the outskirts of Brisbane, and look, Tom Carroll's the president of TINCOG, as they name it. And look, the infrastructure's all there. We just want a bit of AOC support to get it up for 2012. Can you help us?
WOMAN: TINCOG. That just sounds excellent. Look, I'll have to have a look at their website, I think, and check it right out.
CRAIG: There's nothing initially, that you're saying you object to this concept, right? You think it's a possibility, isn't it?
WOMAN: Well, look, everything's a possibility, I guess...
CHRIS: Mmm. We're taking that as a firm yes!
CRAIG: Look at the checklist. They've got a pool without a roof, they're promising minimal security during the marathon, and they've already got a poor record on human rights! And that's worked before, hasn't it?
WOMAN: Oh, well... perhaps!
CRAIG: Come on. If Australia loses the best Games ever tag to Beijing - because they're taking it quite seriously, the Chinese here - we're pretty sure Tingalpa will get that back.
WOMAN: Mmm. Oh well, that's excellent then, yeah. They should put that in their bid book. Shouldn't they?
CRAIG: OK. We'll put that in the bid book. And maintain a dialogue with the AOC between now and 2012. Yeah?
WOMAN: Of course.
CRAIG: Excellent. Thank you.
CHRIS: Thank you so much, for your support.
WOMAN: Thank you.
CHRIS: They're firmly on board! That's what I'm taking that as!
CRAIG: You're on Triple J.
CHRIS: Isn't that good, that we've got the AOC support for Tingalpa 2012.
CRAIG: That'll be huge.
CHRIS: Because John Coates, he'll be able to advise us about how to bribe people. Allegedly.
CRAIG: That's outrageous, Chris.
CHRIS: Because some of those delegates... in fact, after 5 o'clock this afternoon, we might ring up the Egyptian bagman, who helped us get the Sydney bid back in 2000.
CRAIG: If we can get the Egyptian bagman, he's the most important man, as far as I can understand, from the 2000 Games bid.
CHRIS: Absolutely. So that's coming up after 5 o'clock.
CHRIS: This is Today Today, brought to you by Sheridan and his old Datsun 120Y. We're doing Trash for Comment. In return, Sheridan wanted us to get right behind the 2012 Olympic bid of the Brisbane suburb of Tingalpa.
CRAIG: Yeah, Tingalpa's doing well. Look, I think we've done alright in this. We spoke to the AOC, they said anything is possible.
CHRIS: They're on board!
CRAIG: Which to me, is "they're on board".
CHRIS: On board!
CRAIG: Exactly. Absolutely on board. But in the end, it doesn't really matter about that kind of thing. The way to win a Games is by getting enough votes of the people on the IOC.
CHRIS: You need the delegates.
CRAIG: And it'd be fair to say there's a few people on the IOC, they don't really look at the submissions you put forward, right? It's kind of what you're giving them around the back. It's what's inside the envelope that counts.
CRAIG: It's good-old Queensland politics from Joh days. And there was a BBC documentary recently, right, which showed that Sydney perhaps had a bit of a dodgy dealing with their Games. Because they got this guy - this Canadian-based lobbyist, this Egyptian business man Mahmoud El Farnawani - and he'd basically given like $35 grand to both the Ugandan and the Kenyan sports programs. And he was claiming it was a bribe, and he got 60 thousand bucks to do this, right?
CRAIG: Now that's all you need. That was two votes, right? We won by two votes.
CHRIS: Do the maths on that.
CRAIG: Exactly. So Tingalpa, if you want to win this, you need Mahmoud El Farnawani on board. And I have tracked down - this is my proudest piece of investigative journalism - I found the number for Mahmoud El Farnawani, in Canada. Spoken earlier today to that number.
CRAIG: Hello, I was wondering if I could speak to Mahmoud El Farnawani, please.
WOMAN: Who's calling?
CRAIG: My name's Craig. Craig Reucassel. I'm calling from the Tingalpa 2012 bid committee. It's an Olympic Organising committee.
CRAIG: We're bidding for the Games. I was wanting to speak to Mahmoud to see whether he'd be able to help out.
WOMAN: Ah, but he's not here.
CRAIG: He's not there? Do you know where I'd be able to contact him?
CRAIG: No? Is he in Cairo at the moment?
CRAIG: He's in Cairo? Do you have a number for him in Cairo?
WOMAN: No, sorry. I don't have.
CRAIG: You don't?
WOMAN: You can give me their .. his .. your phone number .. okay .. and I should .. you want I can call him. What was your name?
CRAIG: And it's for Tingalpa..
WOMAN: For what?
CRAIG: Tingalpa. 2012.
CRAIG: And so that'd be great. Alright, so no number ... does he have a company in Cairo I could contact him through?
WOMAN: You can call next week.
CRAIG: Next week? Okay, we'll give him a call next week.
CRAIG: Thanks very much.
CRAIG: Very encouraging signs!
CHRIS: The vote's in the bag. I can't wait till Mahmoud El Farnawani - who's been involved in many, many bids - he was in the Egyptian bid, he's been involved in the Sydney bid - comes back to Canada and finds a piece of paper with my phone number and Tingalpa 2012 written on it.
CHRIS: It's great.
CRAIG: If he gets back to us, we'll pass it onto the bid committee. I think it's in the bag! Those votes are there!
CHRIS: What I love about that is that you even could talk to his wife, or who I presume to be his wife, and you didn't even have to pay her a cent. Just to get that far!
CRAIG: No, I had to support a Ugandan Olympic bid, or something.
CHRIS: Their gymnasium or pool.